"As your instructor for this project, I hope you get booked to play in a crappy art gallery and annoy a bunch of people who like Melt Banana. And no, I don't guarantee this will work for you - and you'll have to talk to my secretary."

As Jaymis, I hope you had a better day than I did, and didn't have to deal with a coffee-making whizkid in a heinous mood and the shittiest group of cafe customers since the Third Reich. If you did, you're probably me.

1. Ninjas are mammals.

2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.

3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.