Well, it has been an eventful couple of days. Culminating in my current position: A lovely bed in Towoomba base hospital. Ewww. Public hospital. I know. I'm sharing this room with:
Geriatric guy who reads Take 5 magazine and spills his soup
Generic weird guy who seems to be watching football on some kind of projector. Talks to himself incesantly and incoherently. Yes I may have to suffocate him in his sleep.
Rather sickly looking mid-tennaged guy + entaurage of bogan parents, pimply mates, and insane siblings. Much fun.
After being awake all night trying to prevent myself from drowning in the world's largest supply of evil, viscous phlegm, I realised this morning that my uvula was so inflamed that is was covering my windpipe. Being choked to death by my own uvula is one of my all time worst nightmares, so I woke up poor Nattie and Luke, and we hightailed it to the Wesley Hospital.
They gave me a cannula, and stole some more blood (just for shits and giggles) and then shot me up full of STEROIDS!!! Whoo. Also some other IV thing, some pretty nifty painkillers and about 8 litres of saline, but none of those things are nearly as interesting as STERIODS!!!! (Whoo)
Steriods are great! I totally understand people using them. They made my glands (who were so swollen by now that they were constricting my windpipe, my left ear, my teeth and the movement of my neck) go from "carpet snake midway through breakfast of chikkin" size, to "carpet snake midway through breakfast of egg" size.
I am sharing a ward with a motherfucking David Helfgott ripoff. He is talking to the television. I wonder how I could go about getting him sedated... Maybe tell the nurses that he's flashing the other patients while they're out of the room...
The Wesley was fantastic. Nattie and Felicity-the-crazy-mother-of-Nattie came bearing gifts of books, and my nurse was sufficiently in love wth me to make it interesting. [Shut up David, the Newsreader is not asking you for your opinion]. they had loads of groovy stuff there, like dual-socket cannulas (which the nurse at Toowoomba Base could not figure out at all) and STERIODS!!!
Mummy and Daddy have now brought me to Toowoomba, and if I cut out all of the boring waiting-in-waitingrooms, waiting-in-examination-rooms and waiting-more-in-examination-rooms, then you find me in room K of the surgical ward. Bored out of my mind and growing increasingly hungry by the second. Dinner didn't go down very well at all. Perhaps I can find some snack food somewhere.
