or why my mother almost got stabbed at 5am this morning

Jaymis: fuck, every time I've drunk coke today I've gotten the hiccoughs
Jaymis: hiccups
Jaymis: however you spell it
Jaymis: I think it may be the former
wake up: i'm trying to convince director that i'm a nice person and shouldn't be getting it's low memory bullshit
wake up: hiccoughs..oh my god that is like a cross between hiccups and coughing
wake up: that's brilliant
Jaymis: I think that's actually how it's spelt though
Jaymis: and it's been bastardised over time
Jaymis: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=hiccough
wake up: interesting, in that cool irrelevant info kinda way
Jaymis: I think it was originally spelt "hiccough", but hiccup is correct as well
wake up: haha a spasm of the diaphram...james is your diaphram spasming?
Jaymis: fuckin a it is
Jaymis: every ten seconds or so
Jaymis: sometimes much less
Jaymis: pissing me off to the max
Jaymis: this is the 4th time it's happened today.
wake up: aww dude thats a bit rough, no one deserves that
Jaymis: word the fuck up. pity my damn HICCOUGHS don't share your views.
wake up: they will once they recieve my strongly worded letter telling them to leave you alone

So, I've shifted into what could pretty well be considered high-gear as far as projects for this semester are concerned, and although I still don't have my laptop I think I'm starting to make some headway and figure out how the next 4ish months are going to be run.

The Ineffable Dr Dave and I have been sitemonkeying rather hard over the past couple of days, with a largish dose of wanky design talk on the side (scope creep scope creep scope creep). Dave's now gone to sleep, leaving me to take his rather lovely design concept image and turn it into a new version of Typeslowly. This should hopefully be completed by the time Blonde Redhead - Blonde Redhead reaches its rather sedate conclusion. Then I'll do some kind of upload thingo. Good plan.

It seems that largish chunks of the world - or at least the bits that I encounter in my daily life - were last night conspiring to prevent me from sleeping for any reasonable period of time. Between Dave-The-Doctor-of-Unravelling-Shit, My Own disorganization, caffiene and Stuff To Do™ I didn't really get to bed until about 4ish:AM. This wouldn't be so bad, 4 hours sleep is enough to keep me going until I can find somewhere horizontal to nap (the floor of the USQ TV Studio today, if you must ask), but once I actually got into bed the actual, anti-sleep enslaught began in earnest. Led by Dusty Bed, Possum the Overweight Furball joined the fray, purring loudly at the incredible pleasure which he apparently gets from walking all over me just as I drift off to sleep, and then inching my twitching body slowly off the edge of the bed.

Just when the Cat of Disaster had calmed down enough to get himself to sleep, a cool early-morning breeze drifted across the hill and disturbed the three foot tall wind chimes which (in my absence, and without any consultation whatsoever with town planning authorities) some brain-surgeon of a parent had decided should be hung about 2M from my bedroom window.

By this stage I was well and truly warm and comfortable in bed and wasn't really keen to upset the delicate bedroom ecosystem of quietly slumbering cat, curtains not hanging too much in my face, and blanket arranged just so as to warm and cradle all the important parts of the Jay. The wind would just go away.

~glong~

No need to move.

~glong~

The wind will die down, it's one of those still morning things. 5AM is ALWAYS still, it's practically a rule.

~glooooong, bling~

It'll die dow-

~glongbliiiing, glooong, blong~

It'll stop soon enou-

~glongbliiiingglooongglongblaaaang~

Fuckit.

Out of bed. Struggle into boxers just incase there happens to be paparazzi hanging out in my garden at 5 in the morning (selfish fuckers couldn't muffle the bloody windchimes though could they, nooooo), stomp through the house. Out front door onto veranda. Up onto bench and manhandle windchimes-of-distraction down from their perch of dooooom. Briefly entertain the idea of taking the chimes up to Mum and Dad's room along with a large stick and giving them a quick rendition of "Fucking Windchimes Keeping Me Awake When I'm Tired Fuckit". Change my mind and instead decide to just stab Mum with a pair of scissors while she's asleep.

Can't find scissors. Back to bed.

So. I've been tired all day, and to make things just that little bit less bearable, every time I go to drink a can of coke I get hicoughs.

If only you could stab hiccoughs while they sleep.

If only I could find the scissors.

Jay! I know this story all too well.
I am a sleeper, I NEED my sleep. Without my usual 10 - 12 hours I am a cranky whinging bitch.

The offender in our house isnt windchimes though, it's the dripping tap in the bathroom. It just starts dripping for no reason in the middle of the night. It drives me INSANE!@@A!SS#ASA@;lasdklkasjflkafksdjl

Aww and I miss my cat crawling into my bed at night. It was annoying but they give off lots of great bodyheat in winter. It's great.

I can well sympathise with your sleepless night, it seems that since I got back from stonerville, I haven't had a proper night's sleep. Sunday night was ok until my girlfriend decided that I'd "had enough sleep" and started tickling me so that I'd get up and do something to entertain her. Not that I mind, though.

Monday night I went to bed later than I should (work in the morning and I intended to go to the gym). I was woken up at 5am by a hell of a noise outside and when I finally got the energy to look out of the window there was a milk float on its side. Further investivation revealed a guy lying in the street in a pool of blood, and a fast-looking motorcycle about 200m up the road with bits of it strewn everywhere.

Of course I could already hear sirens by this point and they didn't stop for about an hour. I don't think the poor guy stood a chance, he must have hit the milk truck at a hell of a speed and I don't think the broken glass would have done him any favours.

Last night by comparison was happily dull, although I was working late and only got 5 hours sleep again :o\ One of my "colleagues" pissed me off royally by saying "You're not sleeping till it's finished"... she said this over the phone from her house. And she's off on holiday tomorrow...

Fuck you and your trivial sleeping problems. Yes I too have been keep awake by windchimes and dripping taps and computer fan death noises and sirens and that motherfucking neighbour mowing the lawn or some labour CUNT outside my FUCKING WINDOW at 7 IN THE FUCKING MORNING WITH ONE OF THOSE BIG FUCK OFF SAWS YOU USE TO CUT 1 INCH THICK CEMENT TILE.

But of course all of that is nothing compared to being kept awake by nothing except your brains gayness. And I don't mean homosexual fantasys keep you awake and masturbating all through the night although thats happened to me a few times. And I don't mean the headfuck type things where the knowledge that you have to wake up in 4 hours keeps you awake. Or when you're just too tired to feel well enough to sleep.

Im talking about when your piece of crap brain just wont fuckin switch off. When you can lie there for hours with no nasty enviromental factors (loud fuckin noises or dripping taps) no health factors (having your eyelids stapled open for not paying your dealer) and no headfucks bothering you (shit, even if i fall asleep RIGHT NOW and thats not going to happen, i have to get up in 3 hours and thats not nearly enough sleep andivegottodosomuchstuffandimnotgoingtogetachancetosleepuntilfuuuuuuuuck)

But you dont fall alseep. You don't even get to enjoy funky hypnagogia shit. You dont even get tired. Its fucked, and its why I spent a lot of time awake and smoking cones.

You dont sleep and nothing can save you. Another cone wont help (but can't hurt). Neither does duct taping the windchimes. Or stopping the dripping tap. Or firing valium up your arse with a rocketlauncher. And even if I fall asleep RIGHT NOW.. I'm still only going to get 2 hours sleep and thats not nearly enough. I've got to go to fuckin work tommorrow.

*

New light blue Special Mild 6. Now available. If you require more information ask your retailer. You find it in packets of Winfield cigarettes. What more information do you fuckin need? My local friendly retailer doesn't have a 'ask me about how retarded you are' sticker. I don't ask them anything. I walk into the shop and they get my cigarettes down. Its not like im going to buy a $30 lighter with flashing lines and a green flame and a fleshlight in the bottom. Or 'Erotic Party Games'. I'm going to say Winfield gold. We all know that. So we dont say anything at all.

This so had a point when I started, but fucked if I can remember it now. I want chocolate.

ahahahaahifoundawaytohaxxtehsiteofjayandihopeit worksasecondtimebecauseimgoingtolookrightfuckin sillyifitdoesntbutifitdoesthenitservesjayrightsincehes alwayssofuckinprotectiveofthepostingonhiswebsitea ndnevergivesmeachancetopostscabiesandinsultsoni tlikeigottodowithangstythingthatsprobablyenoughn owsinceivemademypoint(ornot) anditsfuckingirritatingtypinglikethis.

................. that-will-teach-him-to-go-frollicking-about-with-that-girlfriend-of-his-instead-of-stopping-me-from-being-a-bastard-and-making-it-really-irritating-for-myself-to-type-and-i-just-realised-that-by-doing-this-i-have-made-sure-that-no-one-reads-my-further-up-post-even-though-its-half-the-size-now.

.:[ èmpathy ]:.: heh
so like.. i broke your site
Jaymis: oh. they're all the same
Jaymis: how'd you break my site?
Jaymis: I should look at my site
Jaymis: and the brokenness
.:[ èmpathy ]:.: its not like.. ultra broken
Jaymis: HAH
Jaymis: hehehe
Jaymis: you broke my site
.:[ èmpathy ]:.: yup =)

.:[ èmpathy ]:.: i just thought you needed to be made aware of it
or something
Jaymis: hehe, yeah.. I'm sure I could fix that in the code.
.:[ èmpathy ]:.: you going to bother or are you just going to delete my shit?
Jaymis: naah, I've just put random spaces in the comment :)
.:[ èmpathy ]:.: then ill look stupid
Jaymis: yep, that's the plan
.:[ èmpathy ]:.: you fucker

I got a new PC. And it's frustratingly good.

I say frustrating because (for the nerdier ones among us) it's a p4 3GHz with 3 GB RAM and a top of the range 3d prophet 9700 pro 128MB graphics bastard... and I'm not allowed to play games on it... However, it has a fastasshit SCSI drive array so if I wanted to do video editing I could. Especially with this dual head card... and this 21" and this 19" monitor.

But I dont want to do any video editing, sonofabitchmuthabitchshit. I just want to use it to check my email and write the odd bit of software. I want to take it home and bring my more-than-adequate 1GHZ athlon to work. That would suit me just fine.

I always click the "Remember personal info?" box but it never does.

Games or no games, I'm going to run 3dmark on it. That's not a game, right?

maybe it doesnt like your personal info?
do you have cookies allowed?

I now work at a comic book/action figures/collectable card games/clix games and minatures type store.
Am I not the ultimate geek wet dream? HAhaaaa!

OK, you were right to guess about the cookies... let me try again...

Nope, no luck. You were obviously right about it not liking my personal info.