I did actually write a new post a couple of days ago, but through a combination of computers fucking up and monumental stupidity on my part it never made it into the world. You didn't want to read it anyway, it was a rambling diatribe on reinstalling computers salted with a story about my high school english teacher thinking I should be cast as Legolas in LOTR. I was tired, reading it would have made your brains hurt, I think we've all moved on, don't you? I think so too.

And now for the news:
Christmas soon, whoo and stuff. So of course I've been using my time very efficiently and turning strange op-shop jeans into cool-hip-fly-wikkid shorts things for myself! So I may have found time to do a little work on other people's presents, but the pants progression™ has been pretty cooltastic. Taking to a pair of elastic-waisted early-90s-at-the-latest, blue-as-fuck Fabergé jeans with caustic soda (doesn't work for bleaching jeans), domestos (in searching for that link I discovered that domestos is made by the Lever Fabergé, trippy), and scalpel blades has been awesome wikkid. I wouldn't say they've quite got the Tsubi accidentally-on-purpose grunged look yet, but they're a pretty cool work in progress, don't you think?

Many and varied thanks to mein Princess Ducky for wielding a mean scalpel and moping around in a very decorative fashion while I was playing with demestos. Now, some would be aware that she is going on exchange to Italy next year.

For those who weren't aware: Jade is going on exchange to Italy next year.

For those who were aware: Here is a picture of Jade that I created while experimenting with Photoshop 8's updated vector tools and making her going away party invitation. If you haven't been invited - you might just not know her that well, or otherwise you might be hideously ugly and she doesn't want you to be in any photos she shows to her Italian host family. You can decide which reason you want to believe, I don't really mind either way.

Sooooooooo, Jaaaaaaaaymis. Jade is leaving the country huh? So how are you going to deal with that? Huh?

Well, I'm glad you asked that Imaginary Person. I have actually been doing quite a lot of thinking on this particular issue and I've come up with a rather impressive 2-part strategy for dealing with a year-long Jade deficit. Here it is - try to stay with me, because this is as dexterous as it is daring:

• Weep uncontrollably
• Transport my sodden wreckage of a body to Italy as soon as bloodywell possible

"A daring, dexterous move" you might say. If you're Rainer you'd probably say "bullshit, he's never going to be able to save money, so he won't get a ticket so he won't go". Well previously I probably would have agreed with Rainer, but the love of a beautiful woman does strange things to a man. Now I not only have a shiny new web-only bank account that I can't easily take money out of, but I've deposited almost $300 into it.
Fantastic effort.

Pat on back for all involved.

See, there's where we run into a problem, because at the moment "all involved" includes two people. One of them is Jade, the other is me, and a pat on the back isn't that much incentive for a boyfriend-girlfriend money saving team, ifyouknowwhatI'msaying.

So, here's where you come in, I was reading Dan's letters when I realised; Hey, I've got a paypal account as well! I can like totally get people to give me small amounts of money for some vaguely tangible cause, so like:

Ok then. I'll send you a picture of Jade in the nude. Ok, one picture for each $5 donated.

In other news and casting back a little bit:

SOOB went off, it was amazing how much coolness was put together by a couple of dedicated mofos, and I didn't even see a fifth of what went on. Unfortunately my part of it (Yes, RunRobotRun) didn't quite go off as planned. Project Manager Moya Baldry turned out to not be that much of a Manager. I don't think her management skills could facilitate a person's head hitting their desk to create a dull thud, but I digress. The story of the project's demise is a long and sordid one, culminating in your hero (that would be me people) maxing out his credit card buying hardware to get a doomed wireless network online while being lied to about payments and positioned as a sacrificial lamb to (this next bit is conjecture) explain to funding bodies why the project failed so dismally.

Ok, I'm going to digress a little further here, possibly even rant. The project failed because the person in charge of this "new media, cutting edge technologically challenging interactive blah blah etc" knew fuck-nothing about the technologies required to make it work. She has about as much grasp of "new media" as a sheep has of 18th century basket weaving. She couldn't write a brief. She couldn't decide on a concept. Oh great dark oozing god of monumental fuckups she couldn't decide on a concept.

Yergh. This is going to get messy if I continue, and it's 3:30am, I'm not that keen to be spewing bile onto my keyboard until sunrise, so the short version is: Moya fucked up. Jay and Dave got fucked over (several months after the sites went live Dr Dave is still waiting to be paid for the design). It's all fucked up. This whole process was actually such a comedy of errors that I'm thinking of trying to turn it into a short novel, really, the stuff that went on, incredible, and there's the matter of me keeping every email anyone ever sends to me that's not of an unsolicited bulk commercial nature. I've got the material, I've got the time, it's a very tempting thought. Either way there will be more to hear about when the bile next rises.

After SOOB - Everything went quiet. I got a ride back to the Woomb and into the warm inviting arms of this short dark girl who promptly removed my... Ahem.

There's been shitloads of sleep, there's been a couple of flurries of terse emails, there's been movie watching, music listening and downloading, a little Final Fantasty Tactics Advance (awesome, but still a roleplaying game, so basically the same shit over and over) a little One Must Fall: Battlegrounds (shithouse, don't bother), and now? Now I'm about to go to sleep.

Finalissimo: I spent all of yesterday listening to Hilltop Hoods - Nosebleed Section, which is several different colours of Awesome, as is the album, and as they are Australian Hip Hop we should all go out and buy it. The only thing that's been able to shake Nodebleed Section's death grip on my playlist was an album that had been sitting on my drive for around 18 months and never been played. It's Pico's "Bay of Sin", and from that, the track Hurt is making my pants do craaazy things.

I am lovink yous all.

p.s. Oh, we bought Jade one of these with her parents' money. If you've got $600 to spare I highly recommend them from the little chance I've had to play with it. If everyone donates money I'll have a lot of naked pictures to be taking though, so I'll probably have enough contact with the camera to do a proper review.

GIVE ME MONEY, PIMPS.

see jay ask for money and we all stop talking to you.

Whoo, I thought it might work. I didn't think of it as asking for money though, more like offering boobies :)

so you've done this beautifull new post and I've gotten all excited and then havnt posted since!!
I thought you were back on the web baby!?!

First: a delighted revelation regarding global conglomeration and capitalist greed. What's worse, it's on the part of France. Fuck France. (the Jeans have a bit to go, but they're on the way)

Second: capitalist greed extends to Jaymis asking for payment for services redered to the online media.

WHEN WILL IT FUCKING END?

ps - Merry Christmas and a happy new years. Falls rocked, thanks for asking. Except there were lots of kids there. You would have loved it.

New year's was great. I was in Sydney harbour, along with an old mate who I hadn't seen for over a year, Sean ("Midgets are great. I'd love to own one.") and Ness (who is bordering on being a midget herself, according to sean).

The fact that I was in Sydney confused Jaymis, leading to the following SMS conversation at about 9pm:

Me: Before I get too drunk, Happy new year!
Jaymis: Bloody hell. What time are you starting you crazy drunkard!