I've learnt so much in the past week, or more, I can't really remember. The most important computer related thing I've learnt is that once a hard drive starts to go bad, it's bad for good, and one shouldn't try to save it from the fiery pit. Once a boot sector is having problems, a little surgery isn't going to make it better... Sorry, sad but true. Once that little sector babyee goes, it's time to relegate that little sick boi to a non-critical storage task.

But you can't manufacture a week's experiences from a single computational mishap, and I don't need to, because, well, the days are just packed.

Rather than trying to form it all into a coherent whole, I'll just try and convey as much as I can in as small an area as possible. Heed all of the following pieces of advice. If you manage to follow them all in the one week you shall have a blast:

If your real estate agent ever offers you a job driving international students around, say yes

Be friendly

Wear Radiohead shirts

If you buy people drinks, they shall buy you drinks, and everyone shall be drunk and happy

Don't plan to get a group to more than two venues in a night. You won't make it, and some people will get all poopy, while you and everyone else are all enjoying being drunk

Fold out beds are better than the floor

If you don't actively persue that girl that you're in love with, someone else will

Generally the dodgier guy will get the girl. But I'm a better dancer

If you dance with every girl on the d-floor, you will have much fun, and you're not a slut

If you dance with every girl on the d-floor, some people will probably think you're a slut. These people are the same ones who are trying to give alcohol overdoses to girls they know have boyfriends with the probable intent of removing their clothes later... No I don't understand their logic either

I'm not sure if it's better to be a great dancer, or to chase the girl. I'll tell you when I find out

Girls - Don't take free drinks from any bouncers or bartenders at Belushi's on the Brunswick St Mall. Unless of course you want them to be spiked with drugs. Not good drugs either

Everything closes much earlier here than in the states

Once the drug scare is over, some people will be really fun to talk to, whereas some will simply see the world as a hologram, and won't understand a word you're saying

Scene don't know what they're talking about. Timeoff is the gig guide of choice

Some people just shouldn't have boyfriends, it'd make the world a much better place

A tongue piercing doesn't mean you're irresistable, it just means you have a hole in your tongue... With a piece of metal stuck through it.

Some posts take a couple of minutes to write, some take hours. Can you guess which type this one is?

Never judge a book by its cover

Have fun

You can't go a week without Radiohead. Don't try

Some more life advice that Jaymis should know...

Never underestimate the genorosity of an ex-gf who drives to the other side of town at 9pm on a weeknight before her first day at uni to deliver cds to her ex. Especially when she's just rented out "He Dies...Felafel" and now it's two days overdue coz she hasn't had time to watch it and has to pay $7 in overdue fees. Damn video stores. it's all political.

Love

Carly.